


Drowning

by Kisshufan4ever



Series: Drowning [1]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders Needs a Hug, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-27
Updated: 2020-01-27
Packaged: 2021-02-27 13:35:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 633
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22427941
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kisshufan4ever/pseuds/Kisshufan4ever
Summary: They'd never listen to him. Thomas would always see him as the villain and Remus was so sick of it all.
Series: Drowning [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1624519
Comments: 6
Kudos: 52





	Drowning

They would never listen to him. Thomas would forever see him as just the villain, something that needed to be contained. Chained up like a wild beast, approached with caution, as if anyone would be bitten the second they were close enough. 

  
All he ever was, was a shattered half of a whole. An unloved brother, a monster under the bed, the thing spoken of in hushed whispers by school children around a campfire. It hurt, the unrestrained flinches whenever he entered the room, the looks of disgust every time he spoke of something not ‘family friendly’. The looks of disdain his brother gave him for his mere existence. 

  
He tried to change, he really did! Repressing the thoughts that forever hounded him to do their bidding. Every attempt ended in a pounding headache, as if his skull was splitting in two.

  
It was their fault, the light sides’ concept of good and evil could never except his x-rated art. He craved their approval like a drowning man, desperate for any scrap of affection that they could show him. He wasn’t always intrusive thoughts, but you needed to be loud to be heard right? How else would they notice him? 

  
Remus sat alone in his room after yet another failed attempt at getting his ideas recognised. He couldn’t handle them pretending they couldn’t see him as if he was a pale reflection of his brother, no, less than that. He was nothing but his brother’s shadow, hidden by Roman’s light.

  
An endless stream of self-deprecating thoughts flowed through his mind as the dam keeping them at bay burst. He was drowning in a tidal wave.

  
“Stop pretending.” They whispered 

  
“They can never accept you, you’re not useful like Deceit and Virgil.” 

  
Letting out a sob he clutched his knees to his chest. Unknowing as to when he ended up on the floor in the first place, he clung to them like a life line, desperate for an anchor against the onslaught. Gasping for breath, the thoughts were uninhibited by his anguish. 

  
“Would anyone notice if you were gone? You should crack your skull open, rip out your heart, slash your wrists. End it.” 

  
The thoughts, not unlike a toddler learning a curse word for the first time, latched onto the phrase 

  
“End it, end it.” They chanted gleefully.  


He was so tired.

  
“Deceit would miss you.” A voice piped up. A small beacon of light in the endless black.

  
Would he though? Sure they used to hang out. Watch movies, vent about the light sides, and how they’d get Thomas to listen. 

  
“That was for Virgil’s sake." Hissed the voices.

  
Even if he did mourn, he'd get over it. Dee had the light sides now, they’d look after him. Make sure he wasn’t too cold when winter hits. Watch his snake documentaries on movie nights. Logan would probably even add his own facts and wouldn’t that make Dee Dee happy!

  
Nodding resolvedly, Remus stood. Someone once told him long ago he should take responsibility for his actions. Well, this time he finally will. Staggering to the door like a puppet on broken strings, Remus made his way to their destination. 

  
Sides couldn’t die per say, but they could do something close enough. Ducking out. Grinning with new found determination, Remus made his way to the subconscious.

  
Smashing open the old, rusted locks with manic energy, he flung open the worn door and stepped through. Remus would finally make his host happy. Maybe the others would finally be proud of him! 

  
Remus barrelled through and embraced the darkness like an old friend, relishing in the nothingness. The never ending thoughts eventually slowed to a crawl.

  
Now he was finally at peace. 

  
And for the first time since the king, there was only one creativity.

**Author's Note:**

> Whelp I havent written anything in 7 years and have only ever used .net to publish them dont really know what I'm doing with tagging lol if you see something that needs a tag let me know and I'll do it. Know idea whether I'll leave it as a one shot as intended or do another chapter who knows lol.


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